August

"....and it shall come to pass, that, when ye go, ye shall not go empty." - Exodus 3:21

August has brought an abundance of friendship and fellowship, a wealth of hugs and laughter. It has brought two-jacket weather, cups of pink tea, and sisters who sing loudly to Tim McGraw as we drive west. August brings dogs of all sizes. Whale-watching. Hunger first thing in the morning. Friends with swags and cameras. August brings this big sense that we won't go empty, that we are rich, we are blessed. It brings birthday cake, sparklers by bonfire and prayer that burns through the darkness. 

brave

"The perfect is the enemy of the good" - Voltaire

The times when I haven't posted for ages, it's probably because I have 948498574 things to tell you but nothing seems relevant or interesting or perfect enough. 

So this is my Brave Bear, reminding me that courage never goes out of fashion. 




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rain

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. - Helen Keller.

Jumpers and scarves and floral socks in the first week of summer. Rain water. Fresh sprouting mung beans. Homemade jam on handmade bread. Grandad home from hospital. Aunties coming, aunties going. Kiva loans. Stories about what God can do with even our 1%. Teacups and teapots whenever you please. Purple sheets on a double bed. If you're here for breakfast, mum makes you a green smoothie. If you're here just before 9pm you get vegie vegie stirfry and chopsticks and Rummikub, and after that you'd get a loud game of Bohnanza with an auntie and a sister, and then you'd hear the piano until 11pm.


xo

wants

"Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing." - Hellen Keller.

Need more epiphanies. Want more enthusiasm. Pray for inspiration. Perhaps if I start writing my morning pages again, epiphanies and action will follow suit, hand in hand. Write write write every morning, write my own complaints down about me until my red typo journal is filled with multicoloured ink. And something happens. Because you can't sit there every morning telling yourself how you'd rather your life was different, without eventually taking steps to make it different.

But let me tell you why I want more epiphanies and action. The older I get the shorter I can stay at Mum & Dad's before the feelings of stagnancy and ennui start to resurface. Trapped in a paradise here. Caged in a small piece of heaven. I know I'm not captive here, yet part of me wants to escape. Is it foolish I want to run away, and make a few more mistakes? I want to cry a bit more. Shout a bit more. Laugh too much. Love too much. I want blood and tears. Sun in my eyes. Sand in my hair. Stretch and strain and doubt-inspired action.

The future seems such a terrifyingly huge place. I don't know where I want to go, who I want to go with, who I want to become. I don't know yet. I want to take some risks. Exploration. Trepidation. Anticipation. But today we are crouching and waiting. Tightly crammed into this perfect world where incubation feels like suffocation. Want to crack through the eggshell of this sanctuary and find the wide open weathered sky to breathe in again.

You too, huh? You too?

alice

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.

“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”

“How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice.

“You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.”

- Alice In Wonderland

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noonday

Hallelujah for crisp weather and long hair and for friends who visit friends in hospital. Hallelujah for flat mate laughter, for facebook chat and for pencil markings beside great bible verses. Hallelujah for 2 minute rice, for half-finished lab reports, for sleep before midnight and a world worth waking up to.

clearer than the noonday
thou shalt shine forth
thou shalt be as the morning
and thou shalt be secure
because there is hope.

(Job 11:17-18)

Take no prisoners.

unfailing

Monday.

Sometimes it feels like Mondays come too soon and become too busy. And the awesome doesn't seem to be falling in line, falling right before me.

So it's good to have a back up plan.



An infallible plan which today includes:

- quickly drinking large amounts of water
- teriyaki chicken and coconut rice
- a chilled can of V
- mildly loud music
- simple pictures in my journal

Walking around on broken leg,
But I can't get you outta my head.
And all these girls with their high IQ's
You can try to resist but it's no use.

Are you gonna get up or are you gonna stay in bed?

- Broken Leg, Bluejuice

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bible quote: joy

These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full.
John 15:11